Attack of the Madisons -- Nothing's funnier than naked -- Popular sins, explained -- Sexy cartoon god -- Tiny dainty baby lady -- tn evening of carnal delights as envisioned by my ten-year-old self -- Welcome to Ass Planet -- I'm a clog bitch now -- I'm a clog bitch now (Part 2) -- The incredible vibrating teen -- Beware the howler -- The poor woman's Steve Irwin -- Essential items to have on hand when the world ends -- Bugging out -- I am backpack pug -- I'm a B12 bitch now -- Face of an angel, heart of a gerbil -- Out of office -- Opinion machine --gQuiz: which boy band archetype is your perfect boo? -- Bag egg -- Madison forever.

Lillian Stone—childhood evangelical, AOL girlfriend, and professional nail biter is always living on the edge of anxiety. From the pitfalls of a girl plagued by religious trauma, the incomprehensible yet unforgiving need for perfection, and a poorly-behaved twenty-pound beagle, this is a refreshing narrative of what it means to pick yourself when the world is telling you otherwise. Still navigating the ins and outs of adulthood, accompanied by an obsessive-compulsive disorder that’s become an exercise in self-acceptance and thus compassion, Lillian has become an expert in fighting the urge to be someone else’s idea of perfect. In this laugh-out-loud essay collection, replete with cringe-inducing touchstones of an early-aughts girlhood, Lillian Stone recounts her quest to be everybody’s favorite. Set largely during the early 2000s Ozarks, and peppered with Stone’s biting satire and gloriously self-deprecating personal anecdotes, Everybody’s Favorite is a wry, empathetic look at the chaos that ensues when we contort ourselves into an ever-changing assortment of socially acceptable shapes —only to fall out of place, twist an ankle, pee your pants a little, and realize that the pursuit of perfection isn’t really all that interesting.